o my god

a lesson is learned. when you hear a loud boom and u know it wasn't your brother go investigate. timmy found my dad lying on the kitchen floor with some blood beside him. he passed out and hit his head somewhere. he wasn't feeling well since he went walking with me earlier today. he walked and i ran. he hurt his groin then. while driving, he started to have a hot flash or so he thought. but then he didn't look good at all walking into the house. i went and told mom. he was shivering later. we thought he fell asleep. we thought it was some reaction to his new medicine. he got up to go to the bathroom and he said he felt all dizzy but made it. then at 12:30 he got up to take his medicine. that is when we heard the boom. over 20 minutes later is when timmy found him. then he woke up my mom and we called the doctor. then called the ambulance. he was being taken to forbes regional hospital. next mom and i headed out to forbes. we got to forbes and the lady there said she had the initals jc of someone that was in ambulance that was diverted to allegheny general hospital (AGH). mom thought he was diverted because his heart surgery doctor is down there but i thought it was because he got worse in the ambulance. we came home after forbes. while at forbes we called and he hadn't made it to AGH yet. mom knew he would need stuff taken down there and that they wouldn't know how he was doing for awhile. after we got home she called AGH and he was just admitted and they said they wouldnt' know what was going on for an hr to an hr an a half. mom then called my aunt to let her know because my gram is also there now. mom tried to go to sleep for an hr or so and she wants to leave to go to the hospital around 5. i work at 11 and possibly 5 tomorrow. but once we find out anything and chesterfields is open then i am going to call and see what i can do to fix that. dad is more important than any old hours at work. mom keeps saying that he should have never gone to the track with me. my dad is only 52!

how can i sleep when i feel that it was my fault for having him walk while i ran at the track and than also not going to find out what that loud noise was.

i feel that burning behind my eyes that i get when i'm stressed and/or worried.