Mainly yesterday I realized how I don't know how to be a normal girl. Most things when I'm not a normal girl are good. But this isn't. I don't think I know how to properly console a friend. I don't know how to listen right.
I also suck at hugs. Everyone tells me how it's awkward to hug me or that i'm so unapproachable.
My friend, Haley, Broke up with her boyfriend. Yesterday morning I get an email asking if she can spend the week here. I say OK. She promised Jason she would talk to him after work. I knew he would try to get her to stay. Well she ended up staying the night at the house. (They live together in a house for over 2 years. The house is in Jason's name. They dated for 12 days shy of 3 years.) Well Haley talked to Jason after he got home from work. She said it was awful, but then she spent the night there. I think I'm supposed to be a better friend about this and tell her she has made her decision and don't stay the night with him. I don't know. I don't want to seem pushy.
She has been talking the last few months about how he wasn't the one. I've been telling her that she needs to break up with him sooner rather than later. It will be hard either way and it will be harder if you wait longer. Hard on both of them. I don't want them to be hurting but she knows how she feels and can't get over it.
Over a year ago they had picked out an engagement ring but then Haley had decided she wasn't ready.
Haley had been letting her hair grow long because she "didn't want it short for the wedding" but then 3 weeks ago or so she cut it so that was another sign I figured it was coming.
I was actually friends with Jason first but he doesn't stay in contact now that we aren't in the same group. I have this feeling that he's going to hate me or hate me and Dave or something since we are helping her now. Ugh.
I've realized nobody has ever talked to me about a breakup before. I've also rarely been friends with both parties of the relationship. I was friends with Kate and Adam and actually talked to them both (adam infrequently) since they broke up. It was over 2 months after they broke up that I actually learned about it. Sheesh. Kate thought I knew. I told someone else and he said he knew because facebook had listed her as single. That along with missing out that a friend was engaged have caused me to pay more attention to facebook.
Dealing with other people's breakups sucks for EVERYONE. I think that the best thing to do (and I've given this advice to another friend who has gone through it) is to be Switzerland. If you get involved it gets messy, and if you wanted to have extra drama and misery in your life you could rent a movie. (But then I'm fairly well known for not being 'nice' in these sorts of situations, so you may not want to listen to me.)
ReplyDeleteWell I'm already involved so i wanted to be involved in the best way. I always know it's bad to complain about the other person because far too many couples end up back together. so i've steered clear of that.
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