9 Weeks (January 31)

In the middle of the week, I started feeling really sick at dinner time. I couldn't even look at food. This is different.  Then it wasn't as bad anymore.  Once it got better, I started to think that meant something was wrong. I really can't wait for my doctor appointment. I still feel enough like crap that perhaps it's all OK.  One night in the middle of the night I woke up with severe stomach cramps. I was even googling things about miscarriage and stomach cramps. That's how concerned I was.  Then I got over it, but not sure how. But perhaps that's why I keep thinking something is wrong. At least my doctor appointment is in less than a day.

I'm not sure I can emphasize how awful I feel enough. I remember at Ella's shower someone asked if I planned to have more than 1 kid. I said something like yes but I'm not sure it's doable because pregnancy was so hard in the first trimester. He said nobody ever says that. They always decide about having kids because of how the kids are not the pregnancy.  But man does it really suck.  And it sucks to not complain to everyone I know. I'm trying to to complain then I realize I'm still almost complaining daily about being exhausted. Little comments here and there. I'm sure people think I'm lazy if they didn't figure out I was pregnant. Twice this week I took a cup of juice with me when I went somewhere. Then I was worried they would figure it out that I was pregnant because I never drink juice AND these people knew the story of how I learned the trick of drinking juice when I was pregnant with Ella.

I have 2 friends 19 weeks pregnant now so we are about 10 weeks different!

Size of baby: cherry, 1 inch (2.5 cm)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm down 3 lbs this week and 6 lbs overall. (But it's more like 2 this week since last week I was lower and then did my weekly weigh in with clothes on so I was back up 1 lb.  (My weight loss is similar but slightly greater this time than last time. I also started 10 lbs less this time around.)

Maternity Clothes: No and my normal clothes fit looser than they have been. I wish they weren't. I

Movement: I don't feel any but sometimes my digestion just reminds me of the movements early on.

Sleep: I'm more tired and I'm waking up more in the night. I keep waking up well before I need to and keep trying to go back to sleep. My dreams are nuts so that contributes to the waking up. I'm more exhausted. (Last time I said I kept waking up at 6:30 for no reason well now it's closer to 6 am for no reason!)

What I miss: Working out without getting lightheaded or working out in general. Sitting around without getting lightheaded. Being able to function. Not having to lie down while eating dinner. Not feeling like I'm going to throw up just thinking about certain foods.

Cravings: Nothing yet.

Aversions: Eating in general especially dinners. If I have something for dinner a night I'm particularly bad then I can't even think about that food later without wanting to throw up. Right now Dickie's BBQ Pork and Trader Joe's Mac N Cheese are totally ruined for me.  I could barely buy cheese at all in the store for Ella without wanting to throw up.

Symptoms: I'm not noticing my heightened sense of smell much unless I'm near the smelly kitchen sick. When I was pregnant with Ella, I remember going in a grocery store and the fruit smelling great. Maybe it's just the seasons but I don't notice that.   Some of these are probably the same but I'm not looking at last week's. I'm exhausted, fatigue, lightheaded, drained, nauseous (worse at night). I've had one but maybe 2 random nose bleeds. One woke me up in the night.  Some of these are just how I'm feeling and I don't see them listed on sites as symptoms.

Best moment this week: Ella making pizza by herself at a meetup! Finding out my friend is having a boy!

Looking forward to: Actually telling people. My doctor appointment. Last time I had my first doctor appointment by this point.

Exercise: I have run once. I did a few other things that were like 2 minutes of stuff at a time. 

Same this time: I've lost a lot of weight. Some symptoms are similar. (But one is different) 

Different from last time: This time I'm actually doing more and powering through even though I'm lightheaded a lot. Getting sick in the evenings is different and wanting to throw up and not handling food at dinner time is different. 
I already had my doctor appointment by this point last time!
I'm doing a lot more this time than last time but when you have a toddler, you kind of have to.